yogscastfandomcom-20200215-history
Origins/Episode I
Hatventures: Origins Episode I By Hat Films Ross Hornby __TOC____NOEDITSECTION__ OPENING: A NIGHTMARE Flashes of violent colour whip across the screen married with the haunting voices of our adventurers screams as they fall down a pit into the unknown. Sudden flashes of the 3 adventurers falling to their doom scatter across our eyes as the blur of a dream appears more evident. The muffled sound of our heroes screams become more distant and echoed as our protagonist comes into consciousness. YOUNG ROSS (Huffs and puffs as he wakens) I’m late! Ross has a clean shaven appearance and slept in his underwear. He rushes over to his chest to get changed into his army uniform, ready to impress the sergeant when he enlists for the seventh time. A fanfare of bubbly orchestral music accompanies Ross as he rushes out into the bustling, busy village streets. The locale knows Ross well and he's quite the nuisance around town. Ross rushes pass a couple of locals walking by. LOCAL VILLAGER #1 Watch it! LOCAL VILLAGER #2 How rude! LOCAL VILLAGER #1 Bloody kids these days Ross continues to run by, intent on getting to the enlistment point. He turns back to apologise. YOUNG ROSS Sorry! The villagers just look annoyed, muttering under their breath. The village is filled with people on their way to work and merchants can be heard touting their goods as Ross continues through. MERCHANT (GREGG) Getcha mushrooms, 3 fer a pound. Loaves half price, get 'em while ya can! Ross runs near the merchant and Gregg tosses a brick towards Ross. MERCHANT (GREGG) Good luck fella, you'll knock 'em dead this time YOUNG ROSS (confused) Oh er. Thanks Gregg, I owe you one!? MERCHANT (GREGG) Wouldn't be the first time, off you go lad. Ross continues on his path to the great hall of Tyrannus to enlist in the army. The Great Hall of Tyrannus towers above Ross' village and accents the mountainous ridge that surrounds the district. Ross can see his target as he runs through the winding village roads. The entrance of the hall is grand and intimidating. Ross slows down as he takes the time to consider what he's about to do. We can hear two guys standing in line ahead of him talking about he rumours of the little shits SOLDIER #1 I'm telling you, they're malevolent little creatures. They don't stop. SOLDIER #2 You should've shown 'em some steel SOLDIER #1 It's not that they're dangerous but they're just hurtful, you know Ross slows down as he nears the grand entrance looking around and admiring it. YOUNG ALAN Ross! Ross turns around to see his old friend Alan. ROSS Alan? YOUNG ALAN You look surprised. You must've known I signed up last fall. YOUNG ROSS It's been so long I had no idea, you're wearing different clothes YOUNG ALAN (pauses) Erm. Yes...well it's been quite the ride. We're just stopping through before heading up north. YOUNG ROSS Up north? but... YOUNG ALAN (interrupts) ...I don't have all the information yet, but it seems like they're rising again. YOUNG ROSS That's crazy I don't... YOUNG ALAN I shouldn't have said anything, listen I've got to go. Good luck, maybe I'll see you up there. YOUNG ROSS No, I don't know what you're referencing. YOUNG ALAN Nevermind, I didn't say anything. Got it? YOUNG ROSS You may as well have said nothing, I don't remember you being so confusing. YOUNG ALAN I've really got to go. Alan rushes away into a crowd of uniformed soldiers. Ross seems a little taken a back as he shakes it off and enters the Great Hall of Tyrannus. YOUNG ROSS (muttering to himself) What he hell is up north? I'm remembering why I didn't keep in touch with that guy. Ross walks along the marble pathway towards a lonely looking desk centered upon a raised stage at the end of the hall. Two sergeants stand to attention at the desk while a rabble of fellow registering soldiers chat to one another. SERGEANT #1 You there! YOUNG ROSS Yes, sir SERGEANT #1 You enlisting? YOUNG ROSS Well hopefully I'll make it... SERGEANT #1 (interrupting) Shut your hole boy. I ain't interested in your life story, so you shut your mouth when you're talkin' to me! YOUNG ROSS That's not entirely... SERGEANT #2 Not one fer listenin' eh? Getcha papers. Ross shuffles closer to the desk to hand over his papers. SERGEANT #1 Name? YOUNG ROSS Ross, sir SERGEANT #1 How old are you? YOUNG ROSS Eight...erm eighteen, sir SERGEANT #1 You look like a 12 year old vietnamese hooker YOUNG ROSS Ooh that's not P.C SERGEANT #1 Nevermind, you'll do SERGEANT #2 We're not oo choosy these days, we'll get you up front. Can never have enough fodder The sergeant lets out a hearty laugh. SERGEANT #1 A-HA HA HA! He's right. They'll be gunning you down in a heart beat boy, welcome to the regiment. YOUNG ROSS Gunning?...with guns? I'm not so sure... SERGEANT #1 What I say about shutting your mouth huh? Follow me. The sergeant walks towards a staircase leading up to the back of the hall. It's grand and leads up to an opening in the mountain. Several soldiers are walking through. SERGEANT #1 I'll give you some words of wisdom now, so listen up! YOUNG ROSS I'm all ears. SERGEANT #1 You sure are. goofy bastard. Anyways on the battlefield the first thing you need to remember is that... SERGEANT #2 (shouting from a distance) You can't walk off. There's a bloody queue piling up! Incompetent bitch! SERGEANT #1 Erm...This is important. It's the most forgotten technique known to a soldier and by god, is it underused. SERGEANT #2 (still shouting) Hey, asshole. I'm not gettin' any younger SERGEANT #1 Coming! ... A wise man once told me that no matter what you do on the battlefiel... SERGEANT #2 Godfrey! I WILL demote you if you don't get your ass here right now. SERGEANT #1 Oh...er yes sir, my mistake. You're on your own kid. Oh and grow a beard for christs sake. The Sergeant #1 heads back to his post at the desk. Ross looks back in awe and confusion, shakes his head and continues up the stairs. Ross turns to a passer by. YOUNG ROSS Is he normally like this? RANDOM GUY Fuck off wannabe! YOUNG ROSS (to himself) Delightful Ross continues walking up the grand staircase that leads into the mountains ready for the training ahead. EXT. TRAINING GROUNDS DAY Ross is running in a rough terrain joined by several other soldiers in green, army gear. Ross jumps into a small body of water and wades through. YOUNG ROSS (exhausted) Oh god, this is a lot more than I expected. I didn't bring trunks. YOUNG ALAN Come on, suck it up. Not much further. YOUNG ROSS You sre like to crack the whip, don'tcha? Another soldier is about to pass Ross as Alan wades alongside Ross. SOLDIER #3 Make way. You guys suck! YOUNG ROSS Aw c'mon, that was kind of uncalled for. YOUNG ALAN We're behind everyone. Listen you won't magically grow a beard for nothin' let's go. Ross powers through and progresses to a transition laying in a trench being fired at in a WW2 siulation. SERGEANT #1 This is it, you blocky S.O.B's! We're in a warzone. Gettin' fired at from all angles. You can't run. You can't hide. And we're using live rounds people. Live mother fuckin' rounds. YOUNG ROSS (to Alan) What? Live? SERGEANT #1 You will not die if you listen to me. Now keep your heads down and for gods sake do not get killed. (under his breath) This training still ain't legal. YOUNG ROSS (turns to Alan) Live rounds? He's kidding right? I didn't know there was a mod for this. YOUNG ALAN Don't worry, not been a death for a while. Although Tim took a knock to the nip if you know what I mean. YOUNG ROSS A knock to the nip? How do you merely take a knock to a nipple? I'm in way over my head here. SERGEANT #1 Now, get your weapons out and lets kill some simulated enemies. Yee-haw! The troops take their guns out and head over the trench to face the oncoming gunfire. YOUNG ROSS Shits about to get real blocky. Alan leans over the trench laying on the ground. The Sergeant starts firing bullets into the air and celebrating. SERGEANT #1 Yee-haw, hoo-lawdy! YOUNG ALAN Hey! This is where we get to shoot shit. (pauses) Simulated Shit! YOUNG ROSS It's what I've always wanted. Ross follows Alan over the wall and starts running towards the enemy. YOUNG ROSS Oh crap, This is great, this is the rush I was looking for. Alan! Wait! (huffs and puffs out of breath) Wait, buddy. No, no I'm getting a stitch. Go on without me, I'm gonna just... lay here. YOUNG ALAN This is hopeless (spraying bullets randomly) You can do this I know it! YOUNG ROSS I'm not cut out for this. These guns, they're not fast enough, and my legs. They're not fast enough. YOUNG ALAN Stop the excuses, I didn't come along to watch you fail miserably. YOUNG ROSS Oh Alan, you're too hopeful. THat glint in your eye, it's too strong. It's blinding me. YOUNG ALAN What? YOUNG ROSS Close your eyes man. It's too bright. The Sergeant runs over to Ross and Alan. SERGEANT #1 What are you limp-dicked fuckers doing here? YOUNG ROSS That language is just inappropriate. Alan's blinding me, are there rules against this type of thing? SERGEANT #1 You better get up boy, or I'll shoot you clean in the kneecaps and you'll be down there for the rest of your life. YOUNG ROSS You're a real motivator, Sir. Did you learn your training at the full metal jacket school for assholes? The Sergeant pistol-whips (or just punches) Ross in the face. YOUNG ROSS (strong pained grunting sound) Damn that smarts, Right I'm motivated, don't know about you Alan. Let's do this. SERGEANT #1 That's more like it, you lily livered asshat. Ross gets up and follows Aan as they continue into the battlefield. There is gunfire everywhere and they need to yell over the noise. YOUNG ALAN Make sure the safety is off, you'l need to reload after each shot. YOUNG ROSS What no automatics? This is going to get tedious. Ross reloads his gun and fires at a simulated clone zombie in the face. Blood sprays out gorily. YOUNG ROSS Ok. Yep, I can do this. YOUNG ALAN Not so tedious eh? Alan and Ross run a rampage around the open land shooting simulated zombies as they go (much like the birds eye view scene in 30 days of night). The montage cuts between close up shots of gunfire and blood shed. EXT. TRAINING CAMPSITE DUSK Army tents set the scene as the guys are back at their camp. They are sat against a large tree overlooking the training ground. They simulated Zombie bodies disappear through a digital haze. YOUNG ALAN So, you did well out there. YOUNG ROSS Better than some at least. A shot of "digitalised zombies" are feeding on another soldier who's screaming and squirmingon the ground. YOUNG ALAN Ha ha, well, the real thing's much worse my friend. YOUNG ROSS You don't have to tell me. (pauses thoughtfully) I've seen what they can do. Ross pauses looking into the sunset. YOUNG ROSS What? No flashback? aww c'mooonnn Mid way through his last word it cuts to the credits/black/endplate. Category:Hat Films Category:Ross Hornby